... not feel sorry for yourself day.

Who knew that one random date could make so many people so miserable?

Last year Seth broke up with me 3 days before valentines day and I had a decent attitude.

honestly.

My boyfriend tells me every day that he loves me and he thinks I'm amazing and that he misses me. I appreciate that more than he thinks. I'm so blessed and I can't get over it. He's an outstanding boyfriend and such a good man. I'm so proud of him and everything he does. He amazes me.

It seems like everyone my age is searching for something right now. It's like "yeah, I'm happy, but..." They still haven't accepted that nothing will ever be perfect and nothing goes as planned. They're trying to avoid what is deemed normal and they're searching for something extraordinary. They'll spend their life pretending it's not their life.

Basically, I've been realizing that I'm really content to sit in my room and watch the snow and listen to music.

Basically, I wasn't ready to come back to Geneseo. But I am so so so sooooo glad I'm here. Even though this semester might be a bitch between literacy, who knows how many clients, and 2 open MTC numbers with only 6 weeks to get done. I just really love my girls up here. They are a blast and they will keep my head from exploding. <3

I really need to stop being so judgmental. It's a terrible, terrible thing.

Tim came up on the 9th (well, early 10th) and stayed until very very early this morning. I have a blast with him. I can't get past how wonderful he is. He made my bed while I was out at class and poured me wine and rubbed my feet for no reason. I wish I could have him by my side all of the time. I hope one day I will. And it's so nice, to have somebody who loves you. Everyone wants to be single and hook up in college, but oh my gosh, I wouldn't trade this for anything. It's so good.

Mom and Dad are coming up to see me today! They are staying overnight in Rochester because my dad is working on some stuff the business. I'm so excited.

My client is awesome. I love being a speech therapist, it's a crapload of work, but it's really very fun to kind of start my career at the age of 19. Too bad I've got 2 more years undergrad and then at least 2 years of grad school before I can actually start to work. Bleh. School is freakin hard.

Tim visits on October 9th, which is a little over two weeks away. I can't stand the wait. I want to see him now. He is really a wonderful boyfriend; we're very compatible and he doesn't think I'm a complete psycho. He sends me sweet text messages throughout the day and he makes time to talk to me every night. We have so much planned for when he visits. We're going to visit Chris, and I want to take him to Letchworth state park. We have to watch How I Met Your Mother and eat bread and butter pickles and go to my favorite resturant. I can't wait <3.

Junior year already! Things are working out pretty nicely this year. It feels like im starting fresh. My coursework is very different this year from any other and apartment life is certainly a change from living on campus. I like it though, it's cozier... and my flatmates are seriously a pleasure to live with.

I talk to Tim every day and it's very exciting to be in what i've deemed the "honeymoon phase." I've rolled my eyes at couples like us before, but I do know that it doesn't last, and I wish it would. So excuse me if I'm smitten for a bit. I will enjoy the mushy stuff for as long as I can.

MTC should be a blast this semester. (as always) Whenever I get discouraged or upset about something, MTC reminds me to not take life so seriously. This year I'm directing numbers from Spamalot, the Lion King, and the Great American Trailer Park Musical. All with amazing co-directors. All lots of fun.

Clinic starts in about a week. I got my job at the union back. I didn't realize it, but i made a crapload of money over the summer. Things are good for now. I'll take it for what it is.

Dear Seth,
No matter where we are in our relationship, my mother always has something negative to say. I think you are crazy and out of your mind, but you've always been that way. So go ahead and have your crazy hippie christian wedding, live upstate in the middle of nowhere, and have weirdo babies. I want to know all about it, so keep me posted.

Tim is the number one thing on my mind right now. The goal is just to see him before I go back to school. I don't know how that's going to happen, but it's got to.

I've started looking at grad schools, I've got a list of well over 100 schools on the east coast that I plan on collecting some information on. New York has the most options, and it's cheaper too. So hopefully I'll stay in New York, but who knows what God has in store for me. Picking the right place for college was extremely stressful and it really forced me to pray all the time and trust God. I am really happy at Geneseo and I'm learning so much and working so hard. I have no doubt that He will guide me, once again, to a school that is right for me.

Speaking of the Lord, I read this great article today on Relevant Magazine's website about Christian culture. It's not too long, it's interesting whether you're a Christian or not. If you've got a few minutes, read it! (http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god_article.php?id=7507)

In other news, I have saved up a bit of money this summer, and I am hoping to save up a bit more. I bought a new phone, which I love. I have also joined a bike gang. I've got nothing to complain about this summer... only the fact that I miss my boyfriend. But what are you gonna do? You know... I'm lucky to have him, even if he's 700 miles away.